
Even though I had all the pieces of my costume purchased and in hand WEEKS ago, apparently there are still many of you out there scrambling to find a slutty version of a banana costume to wear. In an effort to help you avoid looking moronic (without intending to, anyway) and perhaps the most original youll look all year, Ive rounded up a few ideas. If Im leaving any good ones out, leave em in the comments!
Couple/Group costumes
Whats that saying? The more the merrier...and the less ridiculous you look? Yes, a couples or group costume can do wonders for the total effect of your look. After all, whats Fred without Barney? Beavis without Butthead? Or Courtney Stodden without her 50-year-old husband?? If what youre really looking to do is leave a mark at your Halloween shindig this year, grab a buddy or two and make one of these happen!
Adele and her ex-boyfriend
Any "Real Housewives" Cast (preferably Beverly Hills)
Amanda Knox and Casey Anthony
Look, its Americas Sweethearts! Now that theyve both been officially vindicated, we can all go back to proudly sporting mousy brown hair, dowdy clothes, and a crazy look in our eye. And ladies, word to the wise, if youre looking to hook up this Halloween, these are your costumes, because every guy I know would glady hate f*ck the hell out of these two. Youre welcome.
Tom Haverford and Jean-Ralphio
Its come to my attention in recent weeks that I have something a male readership, so boys, this ones for you. Parks and Recreation is one of my absolute favorite shows on the talk box right now. If youre not watching it and laughing every 3 seconds, we can no longer be friends. However, if youre already obsessdies with it like I am, youll know exactly who Tom and Jean-Ralphio are. Like an Amanda Knox/Casey Anthony duo, this one will no doubt bring all the ladies and their milkshakes to your yard, fellas. Bonus: these costumes dont require much more than a suit, a choreographed handshake, and an excessive amount of Axe body spray.
Inanimate Objects
Every year, some douchebag shows up to the party dressed as like, the national debt or a free mammogram (which should be taken seriously btw, ladies!), but instead of just TELLING people youre something completely douchey, why dont you actually try DRESSING as something douchey? Ehhhh???
iPhone SiriEvery year, some douchebag shows up to the party dressed as like, the national debt or a free mammogram (which should be taken seriously btw, ladies!), but instead of just TELLING people youre something completely douchey, why dont you actually try DRESSING as something douchey? Ehhhh???
The McRib
Sooooooooo, I dont know if you heard, but the McRib is back. Seeing how the point of Halloween is to scare the literal shit out of someone, and I can neither imagine anything scarier nor something that would induce as much fecal matter from a person as a McRib, heres the winner for scariest costume this year.
Suris Burn Book

If youre not religiously reading Suris Burn Book, please remedy this ASAP. Like Regina George before her, "Suri" takes pen to paper (or keystroke to Tumblr page) to muse on all things celebrity children, generally to reprimand her own mothers sense of style...or lack thereof. Suris burn book would be a great costume because it would give you free reign to chastise everyones clothing, shoes, and general demeanor. Bonus tip: Make it a couples costume and bring along mom Katie or wacky dad Tom!
Solo Costumes
Most of you will likely wait to the last minute to get your act together and end up flying solo costume-wise this year. These ideas should be both easy to wrangle up at the last minute and huge hits at whatever Halloween festivity you deem worthy enough to grace with your presence.
Most of you will likely wait to the last minute to get your act together and end up flying solo costume-wise this year. These ideas should be both easy to wrangle up at the last minute and huge hits at whatever Halloween festivity you deem worthy enough to grace with your presence.
Lindsay Lohan
Want to steal the attention from all the slutty cops, slutty angels, and slutty nuns on Halloween? What about all the people in costume, too?? Go as the worlds cutest dog then! All you need for this costume is excessive body hair and puppy dog eyes. A tail wouldnt hurt either. Warning: heavy petting may occur in costume.
Jennifer Lopez, who cant stop crying
By now, youve heard of JLos emotional on-stage outburst. What you havent seen is her offstage wallowing as well! This Halloween, stuff some junk in your trunk, wear all your diamonds at once, and burst into endless tears at the most inopportune moments possible. Apple Bobbing? More like Apple Sobbing! Pumpkin Carving? More like Pumpkin Crying! Trick-or-Treating?? More like Tears Trick-ling down My Face and Eat-ing My Feelings!!!! Alright, so that ones a stretch, but you get where Im going with this!!
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