I Got Your Halloween Costume Right Here

Because more than two people have approached me with questions about what they should be for Halloween, I have no choice but to embrace my newfound authority on all things costume. I mean, honestly, it should be expected from the person who whipped up this Alexis Rose costume:

Yes, that is me dressed as a female version of Axl Rose. Was that "baller" I just heard you say??

Even though I had all the pieces of my costume purchased and in hand WEEKS ago, apparently there are still many of you out there scrambling to find a slutty version of a banana costume to wear. In an effort to help you avoid looking moronic (without intending to, anyway) and perhaps the most original youll look all year, Ive rounded up a few ideas. If Im leaving any good ones out, leave em in the comments!

Couple/Group costumes
Whats that saying? The more the merrier...and the less ridiculous you look? Yes, a couples or group costume can do wonders for the total effect of your look. After all, whats Fred without Barney? Beavis without Butthead? Or Courtney Stodden without her 50-year-old husband?? If what youre really looking to do is leave a mark at your Halloween shindig this year, grab a buddy or two and make one of these happen!

Adele and her ex-boyfriend

Although we dont know who he is, we know all too well what Adeles ex is probably the worst human being alive. So, one of you wear a low ponytail, black dress, and heavy winged eyeliner, and the other one dress up as Bernie Madoff.

Any "Real Housewives" Cast (preferably Beverly Hills)

Great for a gaggle of gals or a group of dudes comfortable with their sexuality, the Real Housewives franchise provides AMPLE opportunity to get all your real feelings about your friends on the table. While I havent watch each season, I dont see why you wouldnt want to go as the crazy ladies from Beverly Hills. I mean, theres a crazy former child star, Paris Hiltons aunt, and a meth addict...and thats just ONE person!! Oh, how the hilarity could, and surely will, ensue.

Amanda Knox and Casey Anthony 

Look, its Americas Sweethearts! Now that theyve both been officially vindicated, we can all go back to proudly sporting mousy brown hair, dowdy clothes, and a crazy look in our eye. And ladies, word to the wise, if youre looking to hook up this Halloween, these are your costumes, because every guy I know would glady hate f*ck the hell out of these two. Youre welcome.

Tom Haverford and Jean-Ralphio

Its come to my attention in recent weeks that I have something a male readership, so boys, this ones for you. Parks and Recreation is one of my absolute favorite shows on the talk box right now. If youre not watching it and laughing every 3 seconds, we can no longer be friends. However, if youre already obsessdies with it like I am, youll know exactly who Tom and Jean-Ralphio are. Like an Amanda Knox/Casey Anthony duo, this one will no doubt bring all the ladies and their milkshakes to your yard, fellas. Bonus: these costumes dont require much more than a suit, a choreographed handshake, and an excessive amount of Axe body spray.

Inanimate Objects
Every year, some douchebag shows up to the party dressed as like, the national debt or a free mammogram (which should be taken seriously btw, ladies!), but instead of just TELLING people youre something completely douchey, why dont you actually try DRESSING as something douchey? Ehhhh???

iPhone Siri

Not since Robin Williams dramatic turn in American movie classic "Millennium Man" has a nation been so taken with artificial intelligence. Siri may not have feelings or ya know, a body, but what she lacks in physical traits she more than makes up for in her cold, callused demeanor. To be Siri this Halloween, you can wear an iPhone made out of cardboard and have people ask you questions all night with guaranteed bitchy responses, or you can just go as Santana from Glee. Its up to you.

The McRib

Sooooooooo, I dont know if you heard, but the McRib is back. Seeing how the point of Halloween is to scare the literal shit out of someone, and I can neither imagine anything scarier nor something that would induce as much fecal matter from a person as a McRib, heres the winner for scariest costume this year. 

Suris Burn Book

If youre not religiously reading Suris Burn Book, please remedy this ASAP. Like Regina George before her, "Suri" takes pen to paper (or keystroke to Tumblr page) to muse on all things celebrity children, generally to reprimand her own mothers sense of style...or lack thereof. Suris burn book would be a great costume because it would give you free reign to chastise everyones clothing, shoes, and general demeanor. Bonus tip: Make it a couples costume and bring along mom Katie or wacky dad Tom!

Solo Costumes
Most of you will likely wait to the last minute to get your act together and end up flying solo costume-wise this year. These ideas should be both easy to wrangle up at the last minute and huge hits at whatever Halloween festivity you deem worthy enough to grace with your presence.

Lindsay Lohan

I wish there were some explanation I could provide for going as Lindsanity for Halloween, but nothing could really do as much justice as the visual above. Advice for the night: stay away from the candy, lest you want these teeth.

Boo, the Dog

Want to steal the attention from all the slutty cops, slutty angels, and slutty nuns on Halloween? What about all the people in costume, too?? Go as the worlds cutest dog then! All you need for this costume is excessive body hair and puppy dog eyes. A tail wouldnt hurt either. Warning: heavy petting may occur in costume.

Jennifer Lopez, who cant stop crying

By now, youve heard of JLos emotional on-stage outburst. What you havent seen is her offstage wallowing as well! This Halloween, stuff some junk in your trunk, wear all your diamonds at once, and burst into endless tears at the most inopportune moments possible. Apple Bobbing? More like Apple Sobbing! Pumpkin Carving? More like Pumpkin Crying! Trick-or-Treating?? More like Tears Trick-ling down My Face and Eat-ing My Feelings!!!! Alright, so that ones a stretch, but you get where Im going with this!!

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When it Comes to Beef I Usually Leave Wellington Alone

Photo (c) David Blaines Flickr Photostream

I get lots of requests for Beef Wellington, especially around the holidays. In case you dont know, Beef Wellington is a whole tenderloin of beef, covered in foie gras pate, coated with a rich mushroom paste, wrapped in buttery puff pastry and baked to a golden brown. Sound good doesnt it? Thats the problem.

The idea of Beef Wellington is amazing, and the aforementioned list of ingredients is spectacular together, but Ive always considered the actual dish more of a risky showpiece than anything else.

I can sear a filet mignon steak, top it with mushrooms and foie gras, serve it on or near some perfectly baked puff pastry, et viola! That way I can control each component of the dish. When you take the same ingredients and try to perfectly cook them wrapped in puff pastry, youre adding significantly to the degree of difficulty.

Having said that, Ill admit it really does make an impressive special occasion dinner centerpiece. So, maybe Ill throw logic to the wind and try and film one soon. It wont be before New Years Eve, so to hold you over, here is the irrepressible Gordon Ramsey doing his Christmas version. Enjoy!

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Welp I Got The Tory Boots On Sale!

{Blouse: Equipment; Cami: Tibi; Leggings: H&M; Boots: Tory Burch; Bag: 3.1 Phillip Lim;
Shades: Thierry Lasry; Bracelets: J.Crew, David Yurman; Ring: YSL}

Member when I was lusting over these Tory Burch boots? Yeah, well, they went on MEGA sale, so I bought them. Merry Christmas to me and noone else, because I spent all my Christmas money on them.

I decided to wear them a couple weekends ago to celebrate the trying on of the first wedding gowns at Hitched in Georgetown with my MoH, Ashlee! We werent cray about any of the dresses, but it sure was fun getting nekkid in front of a stranger in the dressing room. Haha, jk, that was one of lifes most painful moments. Afterward, we celebrated absolutely nothing over brunch with the rest of the ladies from book club, where I enjoyed that fried chicken benedict I told you about yesterday.

HAHAHAHA, Hair, youre so funny!

*Big thanks to my bridesmaid Laura for playing photographer!
**And also shoutout to my other bridesmaid Jenna because she felt left out! Now you know the whole bridal party!!

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How I Would Wear It Tulle Tail Dress

{UNIF dress, $88}

Welcome to a new regular segment Ill be doing called "How I Would Wear It." But then, you probably already knew that if you read the title. I spotted this dress on one of my favorite sites Nasty Gal and pretty much shat myself; its THAT special.

Heres what I love about this dress, in order of importance:
- The illusion long sleeves
- The color
- The asymmetrical hemline
- The fact that it reminds me of a modern-day Glinda, the Good Witch (sans crown and wand)

Dont let anyone ever tell you redheads cant wear pink. Ever.

Anyway, I am officially in lurve with this dress, and although my boobs, stomach, and personality arent as flat as the model, um, modelling it, Im pretty sure the dress wont care, for it loves me back. And so, upon it, I must bestow great tidings of joy (i.e., accessories). My inspiration is of course the lovely Glinda, but imagined as if she were a 26-year-old blogger with fewer magical powers and more nail polish.

Like Glinda, lets start with the shoes. I likey the Jeffrey Campbell Litas theyve styled in the picture, but I lovey these Zara buckle wedges even more for a gentler, softer look:

{Zara Buttoned Wedge, $99}

With such a delicate shoe, were now liberated from the over-accessorized-danger-zone (if you could even believe in such a zone). Because the sleeves are so sheer, and Im going for a daytime look here, Id swap an armful of bracelets for a few chunky cocktail rings with colorful stones and quirky details, all on the same hand. I figure these would all be equally excessive and dangerous:

1. Noir Triple Threat Ring, $92

2. Kenneth Jay Lane Purple Dome Ring, $87.35

3. House of Harlow Stack Coin Rings, $98

4. Roberto Cavalli Large Stone Ring, $390

Because Im taking such a heavy hand (pun INTENDED!) on the rings, Id go delicate with the necklace, but offset the rounded crew neck of the dress with a longer, lanyard-style pendant. This House of Harlow one is the perfect length and echoes the natural vibe of the stones those rings are giving us:

I never leave my apartment without a carryall of sort, so I think this Stella McCartney citrus clutch adds the perfect amount of sass to an otherwise very sweet look:

{Stella McCartney Cotton Clutch; you betta have some cashmoney, son}

So what have we learned from todays styling session, class? Well, first of all, no matter how demure an outfit might be, you should always start by whorin it up and ripping out the front. 

Second, dont be afraid to wear multiple cocktail rings on one hand; they can be used as weapons of self-defense if someone every dare swipe your little dog! Er, Stella McCartney citrus clutch. 

Finally, and this is most important, if ever you need style inspiration, look no farther than your own front door, for youve always had the power. Youve had it all along!

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Michele and I are Getting Uncorkd in Las Vegas

Thanks to some clever marketing, the thought of someone using the food as an excuse to go to Las Vegas seems like the punch line to one of those "what happens in..." commercials, but thanks to Vegas Uncorkd, thats exactly why were here.

Held May 6-9, at six different resorts over the four-day Mothers Day weekend, Vegas Uncorkd is becoming one of the countrys top food and wine events. As you probably know from reading about my previous trips, Im a huge fan of Las Vegas in general, and the citys food in particular, so I jumped at the chance to cover the event.

There are over 30 events planned, including a Grand Tasting at Caesars Palace, where 50 of the citys top restaurants and chefs will show off their offerings to an estimated 5,000 foodies.

As usual, I will be collecting recipes, taking photos, and will post a recap upon my return. Charlie Trotter, Bradley Ogden, Wolfgang Puck, Bobby Flay, and Cat Cora are just some of the chefs I hope to speak with, and if things work out, win money from.

In addition to updates here, if you want to follow along on Twitter, Ill be providing play-by-play, or rather bite-by-bite coverage over the course of the weekend. Stay tuned!


Were Huge in Estonia! Who Knew?


Im always tickled when I hear from fans in far off places, like Annika in Estonia. Apparently, our recipe videos are quite popular there, although Im sure the mustache has a lot to do with that.

Annika reports the countrys biggest fan is her boyfriend, Rigmor, whos celebrating his 30th birthday tomorrow. Happy birthday! You sure look a lot older in the picture. Enjoy!

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HIRWI How I Really Wore It

{Shirt: Equipment; Pants: Zara; Shoes: Sam Edelman; Ring: ColbyJune; Earrings: Mr. Kate}

Ive been called a lot of things in my day: hilarious, intense, beautiful, crazy. But one thing I have never been called is a liar. So, just as I said I would, here is the real life version of my last HIWWI. 

As I mentioned, this is my very first in what I hope to be a large collection of Equipment tops. Theyre expensive, yes, but its because theyre made of an incredible silk. Not to mention the classic cut looks flattering on everyone and can be worn with basically anything your precious little heart desires.

I was serving up some Lana del Rey REALNESS, buttoning the shirt all the way to the neck.

I cold have kept the Lana theme going with big gold hoops, but I was really excited to rock my new Jem-style Mr. Kate earrings. So I did.

Im quite pleased with how my hypothetical-turned-real-life outfit turned out, particularly because it makes me feel like I look cooler than anyone else in the room. And ya know, thats important when youre nurturing a superiority complex.

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Kate Walsh and I Are Besties

Last night was like any other--I went home, had dinner, stopped for a Skinny Girl margarita with some friends to celebrate May 5th, and, of course, talked to my new best friend Kate Walsh:

{Hey, gal pal}

I was asked by the PR team behind her new fragrance Boyfriend (which Im giving away here...have you entered the contest yet??) to join a "conference call" with Kate and a couple other bloggers. But I knew the truth. CLEARLY Kate has been to my blog and understands that we are kindred spirits. I mean, red hair, great sense of humor, a shared love of mens-style womens fragrances. The writing is on the wall, people!!

Anyway, Kate and I gabbed about the vacay she just got back from and the trials and tribulations of airport security...LOL, it was hilarzballs USA! But then the PR women started in about "what questions do you have for Kate, blah blah blah" and some other stuff to like, keep the call orderly. Did she NOT pick up on the connection we had made??? 

I made use of my $100,000 journalism degree and asked a couple of questions about the perfume bottle (the mens names etched into the glass are those of her manager, cat, and names they thought sounded cool) and the future of Boyfriend, Inc. (did you know she trademarked it? Yeah, so be careful how you refer to that guy that takes you to dinner and carries heavy things for you when you move-Kate might be hot on your heels!). She told me, yes me and ONLY me, that we can expect a holiday version of Boyfriend this year, among other lotion and body wash products. 

Some other people asked some other things, but I think it was pretty clear that we got on the best. 

I do love this fragrance and I cant wait to get the body lotion to layer underneath. In the meantime, while you may never have the chance to be besties with Kate like yours truly, you can at least have her Boyfriend. (<-- didja see what I did there? Ehhhh???)

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